What does a healthy relationship look like?

Love. It makes the world go round, it creates life, and it is the reason for existence. It should be epic and grand. It should sweep you off your feet and feel like falling. It is the subject of countless films, songs and literacy.

But for all our talk of love, how often do we talk about actual relationships? About what they should look like? About what makes them healthy?

As women we learn to be ever wary of domestic abuse, red flags and toxic relationships. But equally we need to know what to aim for, what kind of relationship to model.

Although no relationship is perfect, a healthy relationship is one that founded on mutual trust, respect, and communication.

Note: these are based on long-term romantic and sexual relationships of two people of all genders but can broadly be applied to all relationships.

A healthy relationship is two people with separate lives coming together

In a healthy relationship, the two people have separate lives, individual personalities and interests. If you mesh into co-dependency, you lose your sense of self, your boundaries, and limit your capacity for growth. Shared interests and passions are also important but not at the expense of individuality. A healthy relationship is based on respect for the other person and their boundaries.

A healthy relationship brings out the best in you

In a healthy relationship, you should feel the other person makes you a good version of yourself. You don’t feel force to remake yourself in their image but they make you want to be the best version of yourself. You share tasks, domestic and otherwise, and support each other to achieve your goals.

A healthy relationship should feel like you are on the same team

You should agree on big picture stuff, meaning you have similar values, virtues, general beliefs, and life goals. There will always be disagreements but you should feel that you are generally both pushing in same direction.

A healthy relationship should allow you to be an individual

You and your partner should listen, support, care, and communicate, while also allowing the other person to be themselves and make their own choices. Equally you and your partner should always consider how any decision may impact you and your relationship.

A healthy relationship has attraction, mutual pleasure and empathy

You need fun, great sex and chemistry. You want to know the other person and make an effort to try to understand their perspective. You try to learn about what they enjoy and take an interest in their passions.

A healthy relationship has trust

You need to trust each other and feel safe in that trust. It’s normal to have fears but a supportive partner will reduce those fears and make you feel like they are there to back you up against whatever life throws at you.

A healthy relationship is something you both want to invest in

A healthy relationship is something you build together every day. It is a place where you can voice concerns and address things that you are unhappy with. You are both willing to deal with the challenges of the relationship and do the emotional labour necessary for a relationship to survive.

What would you add? Comment below!