A Feminist watches Love Island: Michael is "whipped" by Amber?

According to the Tweet Challenge, some people have been suggesting that Michael is “whipped” by Amber. They both shrugged this off and laughed about it but it seems that Michael may have taken these words to heart when he later called Amber over and accused her of ignoring him. This caused a rather confusing argument between them.

"Whipped" is pretty common term that we really need to stop using. At the end of the day it’s sexist. It commonly refers to a partner, usually a male, being more dependent and submissive, because the female partner is bossy, controlling, and domineering. This phrase centres on the idea that if a woman is in charge, she's taken on the negative traits typical of male leaders, while the man in the relationship is afraid of standing up to her. Of course, this stereotype also hurts men, as it implies that if men are not in dominant roles, they are weak or inept. This attitude sends the message that if a man is more passive or submission, he is being "feminine". It says that such qualities are bad and strip a man of his masculinity.

Another meaning of the word is that a man who is controlled by his female partner's ‘sexual wiles’. This perpetuates the idea that women secretly control the men they date, that women are secretly the more powerful ones. When in reality, just look around, men hold most positions of power, women aren’t secretly in control! It also suggests that men are helpless in the face of women they find sexually attractive, an idea that supports rape culture since this it is a defence commonly used by rapists.

The idea of a man being “whipped” also portrays relationships as an antagonistic power struggle rather than what a healthy relationship should be: commitment and compromises on both sides. If Michael shows he cares for Amber by making her tea, that should be able to be a genuine expression of affection that she will return in her own way.

Saying Michael is “whipped” also paints Amber as a “bossy” woman, this is a stereotype that is even more damaging outside of relationships. Women are often penalised for seeming bossy at work while men are rewarded for demonstrating similar traits. Research shows this is one of the reasons for the gender pay gap.

Amber, you are a leader, Michael and Amber are still my favourite couple and let’s stop using the term “whipped”.