We need to take online abuse more seriously

Talk to any woman or gender non-binary person who has a following online and one thing is certain: they receive abuse, a lot of it. Men receive it too (esp. men of colour) but not to the same degree. According to Amnesty International, one in five women having suffered online abuse or harassment.

As a feminist online I receive my share, though I am aware of my privilege as a cis, straight, able bodied, skinny white woman in limiting this abuse. I don't attract attention in the way that other women I observe do, whose very existence and physical appearance on social media angers some men on the internet. Their problem with me is that I dare to have an opinion, a feminist opinion, while female.

These trolls attack to silence people and force them out of the public sphere of social media. They may have a variety of reasons for doing this but, whatever their reasons, they believe they have a right to abuse someone they don't know in public. Would they do this on the street? 

What happens on the internet doesn't stay on the internet, women suffer real life offline consequences of this abuse with 55% saying that they experienced anxiety, stress or panic attacks as a result. I have experienced that, when someone says something really nasty, the feeling of anger, helplessness and exhaustion.

There is no right way to deal with trolls, only the way you feel most comfortable with. Given that we know trolls are relentless and cruel, it amazes me that I have seen some accounts receive backlash for having the "wrong" reaction (i.e. any reaction at all) to the hate they receive on their posts. 

While there is a problem with some accounts turning their followers into a mob to "call out" others, there is a difference between that and having a human reaction to being targeted by someone.

As women in public, there is an expectation from some that we should take abuse with grace and never show that it gets to us. If we show emotion then we are being "hysterical". After all what do we expect by being in a public space like the internet? Of course we are going to be harassed, it's the price of admission! 

This expectation comes from a sexist place, an expectation that women should shut up and smile rather than seek justice when we are harmed. Women's bodies are not public property, we do not exist to only display emotions, body types or opinions you are comfortable with. We should be able to exist in the public sphere of social media in whatever way we want to. We should not have to take abuse and never show pain, women have done that for millennial. We got sick of it and that's why we invented feminism.

Only by complaining about the abuse we face can we seek to prevent it.

Why must people put up with the grinding impact of this abuse post after post? Why is just accepted and normalised that across the world sad little people (mostly men but not always) are trying to attack and silence mostly women, particularly WOC and body positive women? Why are we ok with an environment where women can't have bodies or opinions or creative expression without someone trying to tear them down?

And it works, women everyday don't post a picture or a thought or an opinion because they don't want to be on the recieving end of this. Every day women lose work, recognisation and having their voices heard because of this abuse.

Instead of telling people to just ignore it and not complain, it's time we as a society did sometime to address this. The government seems to have begun to see this, we must demand they take real action.

In the meantime if you see anyone being trolled on social media and you have the energy to engage: stand up for them, say something positive to counter it, send the victim a supportive message, report the troll account. Lend your emotion energy to someone who might need it to keep going, women have long used solidarity to support each other through abuse. This work must continue in the online world and on social media.